Rant: Do I Have To?

Do I Have To?
“Do I have to do this?” or “Do we have to do this?”

I go into rant mode whenever I hear this question. Normally it will only come from a new team member.

I have a standard answer:

“Errrrr… no. How can I make you? You are a head-kickingly good developer in a high-performance team. So what am I going to do? Fire you? I would need to be crazy. So maybe I should yell at you? Really loud? You know that I am crap at yelling at people…. So if I can’t fire you and I can’t yell at you…..  When you think about it, I have no power to compel you to do anything really, do I?"

I wait for that to sink in. Normally they don't answer, so I continue the rant.

"You can say ‘no’ to me any time you like. If you think this is the wrong thing to do, or not the best use of your time, you should definitely say ‘no’. If you drop it, someone else in your team will pick it up. So if you think this is not the right thing to do, don’t do it .”

To which the reply is usually “Errrr, well it’s not that this is the wrong thing to do…. It’s just errr”. And that is the end of it. I never hear the question again. I hear “yes” or “no” but never “Do I have to?”

I call this the “Fuck You David” lesson. I have no authority except whatever authority the team invests in me. The sooner they get their head around that the better.

It is a terrifying realization for the new team member, because suddenly he/she realises that he/she is in charge. The buck stops with them, not with me.

Team members can tell me “no” any time they like. They just mostly chose not to…. In fact, after a rant like that they generally choose not to even ask me if they “have to” :-)